I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
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I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
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I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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