Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
