We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
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I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
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There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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