She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
