I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize