You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
