I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
