There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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