STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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