I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
