How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
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It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
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I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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