So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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