Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm just crazy horny about you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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