That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
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I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Text me some of your sweat
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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