You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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