Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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