it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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