I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
