So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
