She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
