wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Randomize
