The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
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she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
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Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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