Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
