Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
