That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
