I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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