Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
