one might say we're banned from that church
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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