Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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