i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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