i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
