well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
