you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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