just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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