RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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