booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
it's great music for shaving your balls
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
