i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
