I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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