I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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