girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
