please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
