im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
