Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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