please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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