1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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