So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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