dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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