you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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