Apparently you make a good broom.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize