Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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