You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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