i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
