Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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