Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
