Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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