Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
