can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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